Handling an unplanned pregnancy can be a challenging and emotional experience, especially when you feel pressured by others, including your partner, to make a particular choice about its outcome. It is important to remember that it is your body and your future—no one has the right to impose their decision on you regarding your pregnancy.
Recognizing Pressure from Your Partner
The pressure to terminate a pregnancy can reveal itself differently in various relationships.
In some cases, a partner might directly pressure a pregnant woman by issuing ultimatums, such as threatening to leave or cause harm if she decides to continue the pregnancy.
On the other hand, indirect pressure might take the form of passive-aggressive behavior from a partner, expressing uncertainty about their involvement with the child if the woman chooses to become a parent.
Regardless of how the pressure presents itself, it is never acceptable. Feeling pressured might make you doubt your ability to make a decision, but it’s essential to know that you can and should make this choice without feeling coerced.
How You Can Respond
If you feel pressured by your partner to terminate your pregnancy, consider the following steps:
1. Prioritize Safety: Your safety is the top priority. If your partner’s pressure causes you to feel unsafe, do not hesitate to seek help. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE if you need assistance.
2. Establish Boundaries: Communicate to your partner that you will not be forced into making a decision that you’re not comfortable with. Calmly reinforce the fact that the decision is ultimately yours to make.
3. Gather Information: Obtain as much information as possible about your available options to make a well-informed decision. Being knowledgeable about your choice will enable you to confidently discuss it with your partner. This information may also help reassure your partner and address some of their fears or concerns.
4. Seek Support: When disagreements arise, and communication breaks down, consider enlisting the help of a close friend, family member, or professional counselor to facilitate a productive conversation between you and your partner.
5. Allow Time: Pregnancy can be an overwhelming experience, and your partner might struggle to understand your perspective due to their own fears and emotions. Give your partner some time to process their feelings.
Get the Facts You Need
For your own sake, it is important to gather information about your pregnancy to make an informed decision.
A valuable way to get the facts you need about your pregnancy is with an ultrasound scan. An ultrasound can help provide information like:
- The age of your pregnancy. This is important because the abortion pill is only approved for the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. If your pregnancy is further along then a surgical abortion will be required.
- Rule out an ectopic pregnancy. This is a life-threatening situation in which your pregnancy is growing somewhere other than your uterus. An ectopic pregnancy requires immediate medical intervention to protect your health.
- Identify a miscarriage. Around 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound scan can determine if your pregnancy is not growing, and help determine what next steps are required.
Starting the Conversation with Your Partner
After you have the information you need—and before discussing your options with your partner—take the time to explore your feelings about parenting, adoption, or abortion. Writing down your emotions may help clarify your thoughts and make it easier to communicate with your partner.
When discussing your decision with your partner, aim for a non-confrontational approach. While they may not fully understand your choice, it is important that they respect it. Involving a trusted friend, family member, or counselor in the conversation can help mediate the discussion and ensure a supportive environment.
We’re Here to Help
The team at Options Care Center knows how overwhelming and confusing an unplanned pregnancy can feel. We offer a free pre-abortion screening, including an ultrasound scan, to provide you with all the information you need about your pregnancy.
Our trained staff can also answer all your questions, hear your concerns, and provide tips on how to talk to your partner about your pregnancy.
Remember, the decision regarding your pregnancy is ultimately yours to make, and no one should pressure you into choosing a specific path.
Contact us today to schedule your free and confidential appointment and start getting the answers you need to be empowered to make the best decision for your health and future.